My Sister's Wisdom

I read a post on my cousin Melanie's blog recently that talked of how blogs are turning into braggy Christmas cards. Everyone's life seems a little too perfect according to their postings. I couldn't agree more with her, and thought to myself that I too, was guilty of posting only that which would put me in a better light. But to quote TAMN, this is totally my "private online journal"! Truly though, it is a very big part of my life right now, that which is less than favorable. Randon was laid off from his job on November 10, the job that provided our family with health insurance and peace of mind with the ups and downs of real estate. And anyone that hasn't been living under a rock knows that real estate isn't doing so swell these days. After a kagillion resumes and applications sent it, we finally got one interview this Thursday for a part time, $10 an hour job, driving arrested druggies back to rehab. Sweet. Thankful for anything though. We will probably lose our home and live with my parents again. I don't say this for pity, nor am I asking for anything. It just feels good to get it out there. Our life isn't perfect. And we aren't perfectly happy and stress free, but we are okay. We trust in the Lord, and I know he will watch over us.

I also am going to be losing one of my best friends soon, as my Grandma's 3 year+ battle with ovarian cancer looks like it will be ending soon. My already tired heart aches at the thought of losing her, and for my mom, losing her mother. My sister Cass wrote a post on her perspective, and it isn't one of sorrow. She knows Grandma will rejoice to see my Grandpa again, who died over 3 years ago. I know death isn't a sad thing, and it leads me to wonder why I grieve. I think those feelings of sadness remind me of other similar times. I remember more clearly now grieving my Grandpa. These feelings lead me to think of my husband's sweet family, and how they lost their dear mother when he was only 9 years old. I can't help but think of how hard that was. Is that why I'm sad? My grief reminds me of other grief? I'm thankful for Cass and her bright perspective. I know it will be a happy time, and she will be released from her body that has caused her so much pain, and she will see her sweetheart again. But I will miss her.

Cass is truly wise beyond her years. During these hard times I ran across her blog and this quote she had posted in her sidebar:

"It isn’t as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out. Don’t worry. I say that to myself every morning. It will all work out. Put your trust in God, and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. The Lord will not forsake us. He will not forsake us. If we will put our trust in Him, if we will pray to Him, if we will live worthy of his blessings, He will hear our prayers." -Gordon B. Hinckley.

Thank you for posting that, Cassidie. It's just what I need to hear! Well, thats all for now.

Update

Sunday, 11:13 am: Attended ward choir practice this morning in an attempt to kill stressful dream. Yeah. I'm dedicated to the cause. Result updates to follow.

Calling All Dream Experts!

Shout out to all of my RHS choir homies! Does this time of year make anyone else miss choir? I miss all of the Christmas concerts and performances. Which is MAYBE why I keep having this dream but it started before the Christmas season...
****All of a sudden I'm back at Riverton High School. However, its not back in 2003, its now. And everyone has been attending choir for all of these years. And for some reason I've been gone, and let me tell you, this causes a bit of stress. Willmore is going to kill me! And for heaven's sake, I don't even remember what my slot number is, where we keep the music. And forget that, I don't even remember where I sit. Do I sing soprano this year, or alto? Oh it gets worse. I walk towards the choir room and my eyes are blinded by sparkle. Oh yes, its the lovely glittering Madrigal performance wear. CRAP. These ladies wearing the latest fashion in choir design means only one thing. There is a performance tonght. Shoot. I don't have a...a...I forget what we called them. Costume, uniform, outfit? Whatever the gold flowing swooshing beautiful fabric is, I don't have it. And I for sure don't have the right color of RED lipstick to wear so I don't look dead onstage! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, there is bound to be choreography. Not to mention...yeah...don't know any of the songs. Or what they even are. How can I pull this off? The weird thing is, I really don't want to miss the concert. I could easily bag it and not go, I mean, I did graduate five years ago. It would probably be okay to move on and find other interests. But I don't want to miss out on one song. Not one note, smile, jazz square, or standing ovation. Why people, why? I never even make it to see what Willmore will say to me. I just experience the stress. I don't ever see if I miss or do not miss the performance. Last night was a lovely variation where I was to reprise my role as Dorcas in "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers". Again, that was five years ago, and everyone has been rehearsing again. Its opening night. Where have I been? How could I have been so irresponsible?! They probably won't let me perform! NOOOOoooOO! I have to. I've acted the part before...I can memorize my lines pretty quick I'm sure...oh but the choreography, that danged choreography! What am I to do? Its LIFE or DEATH, I MUST perform...for some reason.***
Am I whacked in the head? Same dream over and over. I want it to stop, thats some pretty intense stress! I'm going to give myself an ulcer in my sleep. Any insight anyone? I so loved being in choir, and I loved the one theatre production I participated in, but I'm okay with the fact that it is in the past. In fact I'm pretty glad that part of my life is over. Being a teenager is over rated. So am I doomed to stressing about music for the rest of my life or what?

Fa ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra!

Merry Christmas!

I got tagged by Niesha...
1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Wrapping, all the way. Its too easy to peek into gift bags.
2. Real tree or artificial tree? Real! Nothing beats the real pine smell. My parents have a real one and I borrowed my mom's artificial for my home.
3. When do you put up your tree? Traditionally we go with my parents to cut one down the day after Thanksgiving.
4. When do you take the tree down? I always cry when I take the tree down la la la... did you know thats a real song? Well I don't really cry, but I'm sad when Christmas is over. Randon doesn't get it because I love Christmas, but I'm very quick to take it down. I guess its like ripping off a bandaid. Gotta do it quick. No use lollygaggin. (I've used that word several times in my life and I dare say I've never written it. Fun fact, I know.)
5. Do you like eggnog? Um, YES! Love it!
6. Favorite gift received as a child? Santa was always great to make every Christmas great. One Christmas though, I was in love with Michael Jackson, and really wanted his HIStory album. Come Christmas morning, I see that Santa accidentally put it with Kylee's stuff. Argh! I always had to "ask" before I listened to it.
7. Hardest person to buy for? Dad. Definitely.
9. Do you have a nativity scene? Nope. I saw one I wanted for a great deal on Black Friday, but I was too lazy to go fight for it.
10. Mail or e-mail Christmas cards? Neither. My mom has never done Christmas cards, and I follow suit. I really like seeing family photos, so maybe someday I'll send one, but the pages of family bragging make me gag. So don't send them people! No one like to see me gaggin!
11. Favorite Christmas movie? Hmmm, probably Christmas Vacation. Maybe because I'm reminded of the Griswalds at home. :)
12. When do you start shopping for Christmas? I'm like Niesha...never consistant. I can say though I've never been done early.
13. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Not that I can remember, probably have though.
14. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Oh where do I begin? Egg nog is so good. So is pumpkin pie. I just had candycane brownies that rocked. I love all the little homemade goodies. Wish me luck maintaining for WW this season. Ugh.
15. Lights on the tree? Oh the lights on my tree...I wish you could see...um thats affirmative for lights of course.
16. Favorite Christmas song? Oh boy. Again, where to begin. I have favorite songs with specific versions. The Christmas Song by Nat King Cole is definitely up there. White Christmas by Bing Crosby. Its Beginning to Look A lot Like Christmas by Bing. Bing's whole Christmas album truly. Merry Christmas Darling by Karen Carpenter. I like BoyzIIMen's Let It Snow hahaha.
17. Travel at Christmas or stay home? There's no place like home for the holidays!
18. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen, and Rudolph (yeah just copied that one, Niesh... but I bet I could do it)
19. Angel on the tree top or a star? Hmmm. We used to have an angel when I was little, now we have a star. My tree is bare at the moment.
20. Do you open Presents Christmas eve or Christmas day? We open our Christmas Pajama's on Christmas Eve and then the rest on Christmas Day.
21. The most annoying thing about this time of year? Scrooges! Yeah I mean you, Dad and Randon!
22. Favorite ornament theme and color? I gravitate towards classic these days. Red and green, maybe some white and silver. I'm liking the retro look these days.
23. Favorite for Christmas dinner? Just your traditional dinner I guess. I love turkey. Yeah Kylee! Someone does love turkey!
24. What do you want for Christmas this year? A job for Randon. :(
25. Favorite Christmas tradition? I just love traditions. I'm sure my dad is just rolling his eyes right about now. Love you Dad. Even though you didn't put Christmas lights up this year. Going green? My arse. Then no more hunting. Thats hurting the environment. Sorry, tangent. I really love our Christmas Eve traditions. I have the best memories of it being so late and us waiting up while Mom finished sewing our jammies. You're the best, Mom. Dad always reads the Night Before Christmas, and the kids all sleep in one room. I love Christmas!

This was such a fun tag, I want to read about everyone's Christmas thoughts. I tag everyone. Can I do that? My family, come on! Lets see if Kylee and Cass agree! Danielle, Mel, Jamie! Becky, Emily, Kate, Laura, Brynn, Whit, Shea! Okay, I can't list everyone, but everyone do it!

What a Hunk!

We attended the Russell family Christmas party last night and fun was had by all. We did white elephant gifts this year and I just had to share Randon's. We printed this and framed it. Oh, and he "autographed" the bottom. It said, "To my adoring fan- Dream Big! Randon Russell '08" Hahaha. Oh man, the picture we took turned out lovely. Although you can't really see the parted hair with the bangs very well. I'm such a lucky woman.

Up the Mountain We Will Go...

...to cut down a Christmas tree. New tradition this year. My dad snatched a tag to cut down our own tree out in the wilderness! We couldn't pass up an opportunity like that! Here is the whole crew minus Grammy and Gramps. 

 Easton enjoyed the snow in his makeshift snow clothes. 

Here is the fabulous tree that yours truly found hidden deep in the forest. Don't mind Braiden's underbritches hangin out.

 Grandma bundled Easton up in her coat when it got a little chilly. 

This is what happened when I took him from Grandma. He sure lubs her. 

Here is proof that he doesn't always cry with me. All warmed up in the truck after some hot chocolate and cookies that Grandpa brought and we're good!

Rockin the Beatles Shirt

Peace and love baby.  (I just now realized maybe I should stop ending all of my sentences with "baby".)