I Love You, Grandma

My sweet Grandma passed away on Monday morning. I was blessed to be able to be by her side. I will cherish that memory of being curled up on the floor of her bedroom the night before, surrounded by my cousins, Mel and Danielle, Ky, and seeing my Uncle Ken attend to her every need all night without sleep, and to be with my mom and watch how strong she is. I am thankful for the blessing of having that spiritual experience. I miss my Grandma a lot, already. Like Mel, I'm having a strange leaking problem with my eyes. I love her so much. I can't wait to see her and my Grandpa again. My mom and dad were working with these awesome pictures for her services, I just love them.

My Grandpa and Grandma

Speaking of...

...me as Dorcas...look what I found!!! Hahahahaha! Thats me on the left people. I'm pretty much as legit as they come when it comes to thespians. Hehehe. That last post was too sad to see every time I logged on! :)

My Sister's Wisdom

I read a post on my cousin Melanie's blog recently that talked of how blogs are turning into braggy Christmas cards. Everyone's life seems a little too perfect according to their postings. I couldn't agree more with her, and thought to myself that I too, was guilty of posting only that which would put me in a better light. But to quote TAMN, this is totally my "private online journal"! Truly though, it is a very big part of my life right now, that which is less than favorable. Randon was laid off from his job on November 10, the job that provided our family with health insurance and peace of mind with the ups and downs of real estate. And anyone that hasn't been living under a rock knows that real estate isn't doing so swell these days. After a kagillion resumes and applications sent it, we finally got one interview this Thursday for a part time, $10 an hour job, driving arrested druggies back to rehab. Sweet. Thankful for anything though. We will probably lose our home and live with my parents again. I don't say this for pity, nor am I asking for anything. It just feels good to get it out there. Our life isn't perfect. And we aren't perfectly happy and stress free, but we are okay. We trust in the Lord, and I know he will watch over us.

I also am going to be losing one of my best friends soon, as my Grandma's 3 year+ battle with ovarian cancer looks like it will be ending soon. My already tired heart aches at the thought of losing her, and for my mom, losing her mother. My sister Cass wrote a post on her perspective, and it isn't one of sorrow. She knows Grandma will rejoice to see my Grandpa again, who died over 3 years ago. I know death isn't a sad thing, and it leads me to wonder why I grieve. I think those feelings of sadness remind me of other similar times. I remember more clearly now grieving my Grandpa. These feelings lead me to think of my husband's sweet family, and how they lost their dear mother when he was only 9 years old. I can't help but think of how hard that was. Is that why I'm sad? My grief reminds me of other grief? I'm thankful for Cass and her bright perspective. I know it will be a happy time, and she will be released from her body that has caused her so much pain, and she will see her sweetheart again. But I will miss her.

Cass is truly wise beyond her years. During these hard times I ran across her blog and this quote she had posted in her sidebar:

"It isn’t as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out. Don’t worry. I say that to myself every morning. It will all work out. Put your trust in God, and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. The Lord will not forsake us. He will not forsake us. If we will put our trust in Him, if we will pray to Him, if we will live worthy of his blessings, He will hear our prayers." -Gordon B. Hinckley.

Thank you for posting that, Cassidie. It's just what I need to hear! Well, thats all for now.

Update

Sunday, 11:13 am: Attended ward choir practice this morning in an attempt to kill stressful dream. Yeah. I'm dedicated to the cause. Result updates to follow.

Calling All Dream Experts!

Shout out to all of my RHS choir homies! Does this time of year make anyone else miss choir? I miss all of the Christmas concerts and performances. Which is MAYBE why I keep having this dream but it started before the Christmas season...
****All of a sudden I'm back at Riverton High School. However, its not back in 2003, its now. And everyone has been attending choir for all of these years. And for some reason I've been gone, and let me tell you, this causes a bit of stress. Willmore is going to kill me! And for heaven's sake, I don't even remember what my slot number is, where we keep the music. And forget that, I don't even remember where I sit. Do I sing soprano this year, or alto? Oh it gets worse. I walk towards the choir room and my eyes are blinded by sparkle. Oh yes, its the lovely glittering Madrigal performance wear. CRAP. These ladies wearing the latest fashion in choir design means only one thing. There is a performance tonght. Shoot. I don't have a...a...I forget what we called them. Costume, uniform, outfit? Whatever the gold flowing swooshing beautiful fabric is, I don't have it. And I for sure don't have the right color of RED lipstick to wear so I don't look dead onstage! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, there is bound to be choreography. Not to mention...yeah...don't know any of the songs. Or what they even are. How can I pull this off? The weird thing is, I really don't want to miss the concert. I could easily bag it and not go, I mean, I did graduate five years ago. It would probably be okay to move on and find other interests. But I don't want to miss out on one song. Not one note, smile, jazz square, or standing ovation. Why people, why? I never even make it to see what Willmore will say to me. I just experience the stress. I don't ever see if I miss or do not miss the performance. Last night was a lovely variation where I was to reprise my role as Dorcas in "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers". Again, that was five years ago, and everyone has been rehearsing again. Its opening night. Where have I been? How could I have been so irresponsible?! They probably won't let me perform! NOOOOoooOO! I have to. I've acted the part before...I can memorize my lines pretty quick I'm sure...oh but the choreography, that danged choreography! What am I to do? Its LIFE or DEATH, I MUST perform...for some reason.***
Am I whacked in the head? Same dream over and over. I want it to stop, thats some pretty intense stress! I'm going to give myself an ulcer in my sleep. Any insight anyone? I so loved being in choir, and I loved the one theatre production I participated in, but I'm okay with the fact that it is in the past. In fact I'm pretty glad that part of my life is over. Being a teenager is over rated. So am I doomed to stressing about music for the rest of my life or what?

Fa ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra!

Merry Christmas!

I got tagged by Niesha...
1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Wrapping, all the way. Its too easy to peek into gift bags.
2. Real tree or artificial tree? Real! Nothing beats the real pine smell. My parents have a real one and I borrowed my mom's artificial for my home.
3. When do you put up your tree? Traditionally we go with my parents to cut one down the day after Thanksgiving.
4. When do you take the tree down? I always cry when I take the tree down la la la... did you know thats a real song? Well I don't really cry, but I'm sad when Christmas is over. Randon doesn't get it because I love Christmas, but I'm very quick to take it down. I guess its like ripping off a bandaid. Gotta do it quick. No use lollygaggin. (I've used that word several times in my life and I dare say I've never written it. Fun fact, I know.)
5. Do you like eggnog? Um, YES! Love it!
6. Favorite gift received as a child? Santa was always great to make every Christmas great. One Christmas though, I was in love with Michael Jackson, and really wanted his HIStory album. Come Christmas morning, I see that Santa accidentally put it with Kylee's stuff. Argh! I always had to "ask" before I listened to it.
7. Hardest person to buy for? Dad. Definitely.
9. Do you have a nativity scene? Nope. I saw one I wanted for a great deal on Black Friday, but I was too lazy to go fight for it.
10. Mail or e-mail Christmas cards? Neither. My mom has never done Christmas cards, and I follow suit. I really like seeing family photos, so maybe someday I'll send one, but the pages of family bragging make me gag. So don't send them people! No one like to see me gaggin!
11. Favorite Christmas movie? Hmmm, probably Christmas Vacation. Maybe because I'm reminded of the Griswalds at home. :)
12. When do you start shopping for Christmas? I'm like Niesha...never consistant. I can say though I've never been done early.
13. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Not that I can remember, probably have though.
14. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Oh where do I begin? Egg nog is so good. So is pumpkin pie. I just had candycane brownies that rocked. I love all the little homemade goodies. Wish me luck maintaining for WW this season. Ugh.
15. Lights on the tree? Oh the lights on my tree...I wish you could see...um thats affirmative for lights of course.
16. Favorite Christmas song? Oh boy. Again, where to begin. I have favorite songs with specific versions. The Christmas Song by Nat King Cole is definitely up there. White Christmas by Bing Crosby. Its Beginning to Look A lot Like Christmas by Bing. Bing's whole Christmas album truly. Merry Christmas Darling by Karen Carpenter. I like BoyzIIMen's Let It Snow hahaha.
17. Travel at Christmas or stay home? There's no place like home for the holidays!
18. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen, and Rudolph (yeah just copied that one, Niesh... but I bet I could do it)
19. Angel on the tree top or a star? Hmmm. We used to have an angel when I was little, now we have a star. My tree is bare at the moment.
20. Do you open Presents Christmas eve or Christmas day? We open our Christmas Pajama's on Christmas Eve and then the rest on Christmas Day.
21. The most annoying thing about this time of year? Scrooges! Yeah I mean you, Dad and Randon!
22. Favorite ornament theme and color? I gravitate towards classic these days. Red and green, maybe some white and silver. I'm liking the retro look these days.
23. Favorite for Christmas dinner? Just your traditional dinner I guess. I love turkey. Yeah Kylee! Someone does love turkey!
24. What do you want for Christmas this year? A job for Randon. :(
25. Favorite Christmas tradition? I just love traditions. I'm sure my dad is just rolling his eyes right about now. Love you Dad. Even though you didn't put Christmas lights up this year. Going green? My arse. Then no more hunting. Thats hurting the environment. Sorry, tangent. I really love our Christmas Eve traditions. I have the best memories of it being so late and us waiting up while Mom finished sewing our jammies. You're the best, Mom. Dad always reads the Night Before Christmas, and the kids all sleep in one room. I love Christmas!

This was such a fun tag, I want to read about everyone's Christmas thoughts. I tag everyone. Can I do that? My family, come on! Lets see if Kylee and Cass agree! Danielle, Mel, Jamie! Becky, Emily, Kate, Laura, Brynn, Whit, Shea! Okay, I can't list everyone, but everyone do it!

What a Hunk!

We attended the Russell family Christmas party last night and fun was had by all. We did white elephant gifts this year and I just had to share Randon's. We printed this and framed it. Oh, and he "autographed" the bottom. It said, "To my adoring fan- Dream Big! Randon Russell '08" Hahaha. Oh man, the picture we took turned out lovely. Although you can't really see the parted hair with the bangs very well. I'm such a lucky woman.

Up the Mountain We Will Go...

...to cut down a Christmas tree. New tradition this year. My dad snatched a tag to cut down our own tree out in the wilderness! We couldn't pass up an opportunity like that! Here is the whole crew minus Grammy and Gramps. 

 Easton enjoyed the snow in his makeshift snow clothes. 

Here is the fabulous tree that yours truly found hidden deep in the forest. Don't mind Braiden's underbritches hangin out.

 Grandma bundled Easton up in her coat when it got a little chilly. 

This is what happened when I took him from Grandma. He sure lubs her. 

Here is proof that he doesn't always cry with me. All warmed up in the truck after some hot chocolate and cookies that Grandpa brought and we're good!

Rockin the Beatles Shirt

Peace and love baby.  (I just now realized maybe I should stop ending all of my sentences with "baby".)

HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY TO MY BLOG!

Too legit to quit baby.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving, we sure did! Lots of food and fun. My mom's whole family came over, it was so good to see them. And I tried my hand at homemade stuffing with Kneaders asiago cheese croutons. Not bad for cooking impaired ol' me. And of course a little Rock Band...I just had to post this video, Easton was being hilarious! He was the designated dancer, movin and groovin and headbangin. I love him!

Catching Up: Ladies Man

Lovin on Brenley...isn't that the cutest pucker? Who can blame him, that sweet girl is adorable!

Score! Yes!

Catching Up: Zoo

I have so much catching up to do on activities I wanted to post. On Easton's birthday, we decided to get our friends together and head to the zoo. Here we have the stroller crew...Oh, look, a giraffe!

I would desperately try to point out the animals to Easton. He just wasn't all that interested. More interested in the animal shape of his cookie. "Uh...does he have more cookies over there?"

We decided to take a carousel ride that turned out to be the highlight. The kids loved it.
It was definitely a fun day out, even if most of the fun was had by us moms. We'll have to try again when they are a little older and might care to see a live animal. Thanks friends, for going with us!

AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

My sweet little boy has developed a clever weapon. It has the potential of taking me down and leaving me loony for the rest of my life. He is a late teether, he just has the two bottom ones and evidently his first front tooth broke through. His new favorite thing is to grind his new found chompers. I can't take it! I don't know what to do! He is too young to understand what he is doing, let alone to understand that I need him to stop. I know he is just exploring his new found tooth, but come on. Its killin me. I've tried turning up the TV or music so I can't hear. Doesn't work. My ear has a way of picking out the sound I really don't want to hear. I keep feeding him fishy crackers, but I doubt this distraction of masticating is very healthy. Maybe I'm blogging about it because the clicking of the keys under my fingers is somehow diffusing that vile sound... Look at that picture...do you think he is doing it on purpose? He thinks its funny, doesn't he? Caught in the act:

A Ferocious Halloween

I had so much fun this Halloween watching Easton. He was the cutest lion I've seen. Roar.

We made the costume, actually, my mom made it, I supervised. Much to my delight, he actually wore it, even the headpiece most of the time I wanted him to. The Wednesday before Halloween, my sister in law, Connie, threw a fun party. Easton got to try out his costume and Randon and I also dressed up. Shana and her girls were doing the Wizard of Oz theme, so we threw Easton in as the cowardly lion.

We dressed up as Dracula and a dead...vampire girl... he bit. Everyone thought Edward and Bella. Nope, we aren't that cool. Just Dracula. Look at that hairline, perfect Dracula.

Halloween night, Randon had to work of course. So Easton and I took our feline selves to my mom's house.

We took Big E trick or treating. It was so funny, just one little one year old had a whole entourage, me, my mom and Cass. He was lovin it!

He had it all under control, he was on a mission. I love this face...he thinks he is pretty legit.

It was pretty nice, he was satisfied after like three houses so we could go home! Thanks for coming and taking pictures Cass!

Easton's Birthday Bash

The night before Easton's birthday, my family came over to our house for a little party. Abbey came over early to help me get ready and blew up a billion balloons. Easton woke up from his nap to balloons everywhere and lots of people in his usually empty house. 

We ate pizza and then we opened presents. Well actually, I opened them and tried to show him the treasures inside... 

I could get him interested for a minute.... 

But he was just content with the $1 ball. 

And looking at himself on video. 

Crazy Mom. "Look how fun fake grapes can be!"  

Happy Birthday to Easton! He's just wondering why he is naked in front of everyone and everyone is singing. My first cake...turned out to be a little dangerous. 

Quick family photo! Oh how cute,  he wants to eat his cake already. 

His sneaky little fingers grabbed a sprinkle. 

Yeah...sprinkles that you choke on and throw up. 

Ah! I almost killed my first child with my first cake attempt! 

No worries, you just pick each and every sprinkle off, and he is ready to dive in! Mmmm!

Nothin like a little sink bathin!

Thanks to my family for coming and all the gifts, he was spoiled!

Quick Tag

I have been tagged a couple time to do this, picture file, 4th folder, 4th picture. I was curious what mine would be. Just a snowy night last year in our front yard. The flash kept making Easton's eyes go huge. Haha. Funny. Now everyone do it.

Adventures in the Castle of Chaos

Friday night was a miracle, Randon didn't have to work. I'm used to being widowed on the weekends. I was going to take full advantage of being able to have a date. My dear friend Emily and I decided to take our husbands to a haunted house. Larry convinced us to go to Castle of Chaos as it was supposedly ranked very scary on the travel channel. Even my sister Kylee said she went last year and it was terrifying, like sign your life away on a waiver scary. Ah! I love scary things and I get really, well, scared anticipating the fright! Larry really wanted to pay for the extra "blood fest" where you get extra scares and a poncho to protect you from all the blood. Emily said I was her brave friend so I would do it. What?! Ah! I'm a wuss. But she talked me into it and I talked my sister Cass to come along for moral support. We were laughing and giggling the whole way there, hyped up on fright. Larry was crackin us up yelling "Bloooood Fest!!!" every so often. We got there and really had to sign waivers. Now I'm really shakin in my boots. Got our ponchos. Horrifying! Even Randon was trying to get in the mood so he would be scared. What? We paid not to wait in line? But thats how you get psyched up...you have time to prepare!! Nooooooo!!! All of this being said, I'm sure you're amazed we're alive. Well. Turns out the COC is LAME-O. Not even scary. Yeah. We paid extra to be more scared, we were right along with those that didn't pay. Same experience. Oh, actually one lady flicked her bloody knife at Randon so he got a bloody spray on his face. But really. Come on. All that scaredness for nothing. Luckily Cass and I didn't pee our pants. But it was really fun to see friends I haven't seen in awhile. Thanks for the fun night guys! Next time we'll have to try the Haunted Forest. Thanks for having a picture Traci! (I might have accidentally stolen it off of your blog.)

My Baby is 1

I can't believe one year ago, I was at the hospital with a new family member in my arms. I had waited for what seemed like ages for him to get here. It is crazy how fast those little ones grow and develop in just one year. So much has changed since he was a quiet observant newborn, content to be held and watch the world. I can't believe he is already a little person, walking, talking, throwin attitude :), teasing, flirting, making messes, giving kisses, singing, and learning. What amazes me the most is how independantly he learns. At times I worry at my skills as a mother, and look at this little man and how he has developed and I know Heavenly Father must help us out a little. I really think he has taught me more this year than me teaching him. He is so independant, I try to give my two cents, and he acts like, I got this Mom, no worries. I know it must sound cheesy, but I love Easton so much. I really am so thankful I am able to be his mother and be surrounded by his sweet spirit. Here are some things about Easton at 1 I want to remember:
* He is so selective with his kisses. He makes the perfect little pucker, but it rarely makes an appearance. Grandma Bern (my Grandma Spiers) always gets kisses (as she should, he knows how much we love her). I'm starting to get them more often, I'm still trying to figure out what entices him to pucker up.
*He is walking and running everywhere. He loves to kick a ball around (watch out David Beckham). He can crawl up the stairs, but it takes awhile as we have to stand and applaud each stair he climbs.
*He is a great dancer. He stands and bobs along with the music, and has the funniest look on his face like he is concentrating so hard to stay on beat.
*He switched over from formula to whole milk without even batting an eye. He is such an easy baby! Can I get a WHOOHOO! No more buying expensive formula!
*He is starting to use a few baby signs. Madison said he was doing the sign for Mom and crying (sad) when I left the other night. He does bottle or milk, and he is so close to doing the sign for more.
*He sure is being a picky eater lately. I was sure that chubby baby would down anything, but he is proving me wrong. He would be happy on a diet of milk and goldfish crackers.
*He still loves Grandma Rass more than anyone.
*He says da-da whenever daddy walks in the room. We're still working on mama. Of course.
*His laugh is about the best sound in the world.
I love that little boy! Happy Birthday! Lots of pictures of the partyin to come...

Randon Ray

My dearest cousin, Danielle, tagged me. I've done one before, but why not reveal more about my one and only?

1- Where did you meet? On a blind date! He had just crashed a plane, no big deal, and was recovering, perfect time for a blind date I guess.

2- How long did you date before you were married? Well, let me see... we dated 4 months and were engaged for two. Get er done. Ha. Don't know if that applies here, but yeah, it was fast.

3- How long have you been married for? 2 years 7 months 18 days.

4- What is one thing he does that surprises you? Um, well, I still stand in awe as I watch him down a whole package of bacon.

5- What's your favorite feature about him? His rockin bod! ;) And, I really hate feet, I lucked out because he has really nice feet for a guy.

6- What's your favorite quality about him? He is a true gentleman and does anything I ask. I adore the fact that he thinks he is hilarious. Chuck Norris jokes don't appeal to many, but man does he laugh when he cracks one. Chuck Norris CAN believe its not butter, okay?

7- Does he have a nickname for you? Darling, love of my life, dearest cupcake doodle... not really, just Jess or babe.

8- What's his favorite color? Blue

9- What's his favorite food? He would say...surf and turf. Steak and crab. He LOVES the bbq crab legs at Joe's. 

10-What is his favorite sport? He enjoys many. He loves football. Go niners! (Sadly they aren't doing so well this season, we don't mention that though.) 

11- Who said I love you first? He did. I love that memory.

12- When and where was your fist kiss? That would be our third date, in my parents basement on the love sac. Woo woo. Very romantic.

13- What's your favorite thing to do as a couple? Well I guess this needs to be G rated...hehe..just kidding. We love to be outdoors, camping, four wheeling, he LOVES helping me with my projects - HA, we like to just rent a movie and veg, or sit and watch Easton entertain us.

14- Do you have kids? How many?  Sure do, 1 fabulous son.

15- What's a hidden talent that he has? He has all sorts I'm still finding out about. He is scuba certified, First Responder first aid certified, he can fix a car, make the most perfect pancake you've ever seen too. He can milk a cow, saddle a horse, and help birth farm animals.  I've never seen anyone out run him either. Fast little bugger.

16- How old is he? 28

17- What's his favorite type of music? Rap. Hard core. Wait...no, thats me. He likes all kinds, his fav would prob be country.

18- What do you admire most about him? He is so determined. He does whatever is required to achieve something, he is willing to call or ask anyone for advice or information to further his knowledge about something. He always says, "The worst they can say is no." I wish I could be more like that.

19- What's his favorite past time? He would probably say being outdoors on a horse or hunting.

20- Do you think he's going to read this? There is a chance. 

I tag Shana, Kate, Emily, Niesha, Jenny, Traci and everyone else that will do it!

Thats What I'm Talkin About!

My husband is basically a pro-angler. He could have his own fishing show. His trip yesterday was quite successful as you can see. I'm so glad if times get tough, his skills can provide food for our family.

Well, that was easy...

I really have one easygoing kid.  The other day Easton didn't want to take a nap, so I tried to give him a binky and he wouldn't take it. "What the fly?!" I thought, thanks to my sister Kylee, who for some reason uses this term, repeatedly, and thus makes my brain think I should use it, but I digress... I knew he hadn't been wanting it lately and realized he hadn't really had a binky in probably weeks.  No fits, no crying, no dreaded transition period. Nah mom, I think I'm done, just gonna go ahead and move on from this whole "binky" thing. Fine by me! I remember working at the daycare with the toddlers and this whole situation could sometimes be horrific. I count myself as lucky. Don't worry, I've been informed many times that my next child will give me a run for my money. Can't wait. The cute binky face is no more. However, I'm still trying to break him of his sunglasses addiction. :) I love this boy!

Whatever Martha.

So I had what I thought was a brilliant idea. I saw this idea for a cute little project on Martha Stewart's website. I went to lunch with some of my girlfriends who also stay home with their babes. Why not have a project party? Woohoo! So we planned to all get together and create these super cute cheesecloth ghosts for Halloween. It was so fun, Emily, Laura and Brynn and their kids came over, and we dove in to ghost town. It looked so simple... yet took us forever! And they just didn't quite come out like the picture. Here we have Martha's version... ...and my version. My ghost looks a little sickly.

They actually turned out cute after taking forever and the poor kids were screaming for more attention. And now I get a grave yard of ghosts waiting to dry on my counter. OOOoooo Spooky! It was a really fun day, and we might try another craft, perhaps a simpler one. Martha is just too crafty for me.